A question that’s been on my mind for the past few months. A question that I never thought I’d say because I didn’t know I was in the dating game. Turns out I must have been to even consider this question.

Rewind to my last post, I was going on a few dates with a guy from the gym – bad move. Well, at the time it was fun getting to know someone but when it came down to fancying that person it was another story. To wrap up a story I didn’t fancy him, he was a lovely guy and that was that – maybe that was it so I decided to tell him that I didn’t see him any more than a friend (not that we’ve spoken or even had eye contact in the gym so guess that friendships down the drain).

A month or so ago, I had a dream I had a boyfriend – can’t believe I’m actually saying this on the internet but it has weirdly changed my whole perspective of dating (and let me tell you the dream felt magical, and he was hot I have no idea who he was but can he come into my life soon? Waking up and realising it was ‘all a dream’ was not haha!) I have deleted tinder – I was kind of dormant on it anyway so it had long gone before then, and have started to embrace looking around me, doing it the old fashion way. I don’t think meeting the one can be found on tinder and for those girls that have, well done you! But for me, that chapter is closed. That means going out and meeting guys? HOW DO YOU DO THAT? Does anyone know? This is going to be so difficult for someone who doesn’t like to go out in town and get drunk every weekend or has a group of single girl friends that can help push me in the right direction. Then again, would a guy you pick up on a Saturday night really be one you’d introduce to your mum and grandparents? NO!

So this is my dilemma right now… yes there are some hot guys at the gym (I have already found their Instagram’s/Facebook profiles and most of them have girlfriends, damn) but the gym and work are THE only places I go. This is where I’d love to tell you I’ve fell in love with a guy at work – half true… similar to the above, there’s a super hot guy who works for Hawk-Eye (a sister company of Sony) and after a couple of months I decided to find out who he was – I did this via LinkedIn (don’t worry I didn’t go on his profile so he didn’t get a notification that stalky over here was checking out his profile). I just wanted to know his name but still don’t know if he’s single (damn). I guess because I don’t have the balls go up to him introduce myself and say hello, I’m probably going to be waiting for a long time for him to come up to me… can someone please find these balls and pass them this way so I can make the first move?

So apart from having some very nice eye-candy at work (of whom I’ll probably never talk too or interact with) and my past dating stories of which I have posted many before – being stood up after thinking things were getting pretty serious, beginning to like that person when they say they’re not over their ex, having nothing in common, someone turning up and looking nothing like their pictures (weird)… I have given up on dating!

I have decided I’m not going to waste my expensive makeup, hours ‘beautifying’ myself, squeezing my feet into heels as high as sky scrapers to elongate the size of my legs and trying to portray the best of myself to some stranger I’ve known five minutes and will probably never see again – when in fact the best me is either sat behind my desk working my arse off, in the gym with makeup dripping off my face or in my jogging bottoms watching Netflix.

This is where I am now: 23 years old, no dating apps, working hard at work, going to the gym every night, enjoying my own company and doing things for me which I wanted to do anyway this year. If this guy (from my dreams) is around the corner so be it, but I’m not outwardly looking anymore.

Dating 1 – 0 Autumn