As I sit here around the dining table listening to Ariana Grande (her new song ‘Into You’ is a slight guilty pleasure – every so slightly), I thought I would use my time wisely and practically to do a bit of an update for you. Since I haven’t blogged in about two months I thought I should – it’s always in the back of my head, thinking about what I can write about next that will interest people. But to be honest, nothing too interesting has been happening so I am just going to ramble and hope it interests someone haha!

Since my last blog post of The Shard the only really exciting things is that I have been on a few dates from Tinder (yes I am on it because I don’t know if I could actually go up to someone in a bar and speak to them – behind a screen it’s slightly easier, it’s not as intense, it’s definitely something you love to hate). So in total, that makes me sound like a serial dater, I have only been on three first dates – all went pretty good, no horror first date stories to tell you. Out of the three dates, which may I just add happened over about a two-month time frame, two guys only lasted the one date; the reasons were probably that we didn’t particularly click, weren’t on the same level, they didn’t get my personality and I didn’t get theirs either. But one thing I did notice from a few of them they used the whole excuse that “I’m not ready for a girlfriend” – it’s like then why are you on Tinder and why have we been speaking constantly for weeks? I really didn’t think boys could be that emotional – but it was probably just an excuse and when it came down to it I wasn’t really that fussed. Although, to be honest even though all of us girls say we’re not on there or any dating sites for a relationship we do kind of hope that we meet “the one” and the fairy-tale would begin and we would happily ever after (I do use that term very lightly may I add).

I must admit though going on these dates with complete strangers who I have never met before does actually prove that I can put myself out there in terms of doing something I wouldn’t necessarily do say a year ago, and that I am actually more confident than I thought I was. So for that I think I can be proud of myself.

Nonetheless, with dating comes some slight heartache as every girl knows – to which I found out only a few weeks ago when I got stood up for no reason what so ever. In my life right now I can honestly say there is nothing worse than that feeling – I wouldn’t even wish it on my worst enemy (if I had one). I can’t even describe the feeling it was a mixture of sadness, despair, confusion, anger and shock all mixed into one big bowl that clearly had ‘f*** you’ and my name written all over it haha! My inner sass queen thought the typical “I wasted £40 foundation on looking good, my brows were on fleek and I had some serious highlighting going on… what a waste!” Crying with a full face of makeup on is not a good look and it gets everywhere – top tip don’t do it… no foundation is waterproof.
Every girl who loves makeup would be like “Yes girl I feel your pain wasting good makeup on an idiot” – I do laugh when I think of that. It was weird though because I’d had a bad feeling about the evening all day – it’s times like this when you can’t believe someone who came across as being so genuine and so kind to you would do this when you made a conscious effect to let your guard down (which for me is something extremely difficult for me to do).

I wouldn’t normally pour my heart out over this because the guy may in fact be reading this, and I am a private person – I hate the thought of people knowing what goes on in my private life – but I am hoping writing this puts it out into the universe and we can move on from it (not that I’m still caught up on it – anything like this would play on someone’s mind: being stood up and then being deleted on everything as though I am a paragraph on a word document that can simply be erased). From this I have learnt to just pick myself up and carry on – us women are of course, insanely good at picking ourselves up and moving on pretending like nothing happened.

So, literally moving on because I feel like I have rambled about dating… I have been hitting the gym just as hard as I have been eating chocolate – the thing that I know I tell myself I am not allowed because it makes my skin crap and it’s finally getting so much better! It’s such a slippery slope, anyone who knows me knows how much of a sweet tooth I have but I can be strict when I need to be – I either go months without eating anything naughty or I have something every day then hate myself after because I know it’s no good for me!

I am also in a really exciting part of my journalism career of looking for a new job – the world is literally my oyster and it’s exciting yet nerve racking at the same time. There really are so many amazing jobs out there and I am praying for a great one! I will be keeping you updated on how that goes and then writing on here letting you know that I’ve found the dream job!

So that’s all the exciting (job) and boring (dating) sagas that have been going on with me. I am really hoping for an adventure soon, something that is worth writing about and something that makes more of an exciting blog post than this!

Anyway, I hope you’ve enjoyed reading about my dating mishaps… it has been slightly terrifying writing about it!

Autumn x